Good Things, Bad Things

Been awhile since I've posted anything...so here I am making a post. A lot has gone on in my journey since my last post...some good,some not so good. A good thing..today I was informed that I got a full-time position in another department at Home Depot. I go from Plumbing to selling appliances in the Kitchen & Bath department. I've been looking at getting a full-time position because I won't have a student loan to float me through the winter this year, anyways I applied for the full-time spot in Plumbing but didn't get it. A good thing..I worked up the courage to ask a girl out, she surprised me by saying yes. We went to a movie on a friday night, then had lunch on sunday. She has told me that she doesn't mind hanging out, but isn't looking for a relationship. I'm not having much luck with the ladies..I fit in the "nice guy..but" category I suppose. A bad thing...I've had to step down for awhile from doing openings at church due to some poor choices I've made in my life the last little while. It's not going to be very long I'm told..so I'll have time to think and make better choices in the next little while. I've felt really frustrated the last little while. Frustrated at how my life seems to be going lately...I just don't seem to have enough hours in a day to do the things I want to do, and I'm on the go 7 days a week so I never seem to be able to relax. I tried to ask the kids mom if she could take the kids on a saturday night and not call me at all so I can relax after work...that hasn't happened! I'm feeling depressed...lonely..

Torch Run

How many people have been following the Olympic torch run? I have every so often...pretty interesting stuff happening. The run is very different this year...maybe that's why I've paid more attention this time. Protesters trying to stop the runners and even an incident of actually putting out the flame. I'm not sure why, but I saw an interesting parallel in our Christian walk and the torch run this year. I did my opening on Phil. 3:12-14 this morning...it talks about how we are to press on to the goal. I did a mini torch run complete with some people geting in the way trying to stop the run. We experience something similar in our daily lives...picture yourself as the runner carrying the torch. Now think of those protesters as satan and his workers...they'll try anything to stop us from reaching our goal. We still must press on no matter what gets put in our way; loss of a job, evicted from a home, vehicle troubles, etc. We must remember to run the race to the end...to finish..our ultimate prize will be our's when we get to heaven.

Some Thoughts

I've had a great day today. I met a friend when I was on my lunch break, we just happened to go to the same place for lunch. Flavours Of India...excellent food, quite filling!! It was a good thing that I do a lot of walking on my job, got to walk off some calories from lunch...hahaha. This evening I spent some time with my older boy Tyler. My other 2 kids went to help their mom clean up her house. Tyler loved having dad to himself for a couple of hours...we went out for supper,then went to the Dollar Store to pick up some things. Just being together was fun for both of us...it has been awhile since I've been out with just one of my children for some 1 on 1 time. Funny..I've let their mom have some 1 on 1 time, but haven't done it myself. I'm planning to do this more often...maybe once a week. I also had a strange feeling as we were sitting there eating..I realized that I'm lonely. I went through this kind of thing last year in the early months of the year too. I thought of a couple of people and started to wonder...could it be her? The same thing has happened a bit more frequently this year..I'm not saying I look at every woman and think like this...hahaha...but there has been a few. I've been thinking about someone I haven't seen in what seems to be a long time, but really isn't. I've met someone who has caught my eye...but I'm hesitant ( chicken ) to let her know that. So there I was having supper with my son...with the lonely feeling...wondering "Why don't I say something to them?" I know my kids will accept whoever ends up as their step-mom...maybe I'm worried that they won't be accepted by their new step-mom. I know it isn't easy being a step-parent and it takes a special kind of person to be able to fully accept and love a step-child. We come as a package, my kids and I. Well that's something I can look at further. I just want to Thank God for the blessings he's given me in the opportunity to raise my children whether alone or eventually with a partner...

First 1 done...

Well the end of another great day ( despite the weather ). It was a bit hectic getting to church this morning...my daughter was invited to a friend's birthday party which included a sleep over. She didn't get dropped off back at her mom's until 5 minutes before church started. Now I'm nervous enough because I'm doing the opening...even more so when I arrived to pick up the kids from their mom's and my daughter wasn't there yet. Yeah a little bit of stress!! Anyways we got to church just as the youth Pastor was about to give an opening...talk about being put on the spot, he wasn't even prepared to give an opening. Things went great on my part...not as nervous when I stepped up to the microphone as I felt getting to church. Until this morning I didn't really know what to talk about, then I had a dream that I was about to apologize to the Pastor for not having anything to talk about. In my dream the church was quite empty so my first words really boomed in the church...while I was waiting for the sound to be adjusted people came in and soon the church was full. At that moment in my dream I suddenly knew what I was to talk about..so when I woke I went and checked the verse..Hebrews 6: 10. It made sense to talk about that because of some things I've been struggling with...but as I spoke in church I realized that someone else needed to hear this verse at this time also. I praise God for the inspiration because someone did share about a feeling of failure because some of the people she'd led to Christ aren't walking in the Lord right now and it was bringing her down. During our worship time a line in a song seemed to stick with me and I realized I have something for next week's opening.

One Thing Finished...Another Starting

Well here I sit at the end of a long day...tired, but excited. Tonight was my last class and to finish off the class we had a potluck supper, fun activities, and a time of prayer. We got to bring our families to the final class and my kids had a ball playing with the other kids there. I love how kids operate...my kids didn't know the other kids yet just started playing with them. When it was time to eat, my older boy Tyler wanted to sit at the table with his new friend. Regardless of whether it was the last class or not I still had to turn in my final..and my final paper. Strangely enough I'm not worried about what kind of mark I'll get...just knowing I did the work and finished the class is a great feeling to have at this point. I had to chuckle at myself when I got home...had a thought that went like this, "Ok God...what do you want me to do next?" It wasn't a whiny question, but a question full of confidence. I've had a tremendous amount of spiritual growth this past year, 2 of the Pastors at church have said they could see the growth that's happened in my life. I was really surprised this past Sunday by being pulled aside before the service by our main Pastor saying he needed to talk to me. The leadership as a whole has decided to let me do the openings starting next Sunday. This is a prelude to being put in the preaching rotation. What an awesome thing...doing an opening may not seem like such a big thing to most people, but it's a great step to me! So what exactly is an opening? Well someone gets up in front of the church at the beginning of the service and does a short talk on something spiritual, it may be inline with what the sermon is going to be about that day...but most often it's not. I can finally put the skills I learned in Public Speaking class...Thanks Mrs. McMillan!!

In Exile?

Hello Everyone! Boy it has been about 4 months since I posted something. So...what's happened since my last post. A few things...the biggest being that I've been suspended for a year from school. That was a BIG shock to me when I got the letter from school...funny thing is I received it, but didn't open until just before the semester started. I thought the letter was a copy of my grades for the last semester...so I just put it on my desk. Hence the name of my blog..it's a question, but kind of how I feel..like I've been sent into exile from Western Christian. I have to admit I was angry and bitter about having been suspended for a year, but I'm not anymore. I'm doing things I might not have been able to do if I was taking regular school classes. For starters I'm re-taking a class that I took last year, but didn't finish. I'm learning so much more this time around, and it's also tranferable to any Bible College for credit. I'm meeting with one of the Pastors in my church in a mentor/internship type of thing..we meet once a week: study a topic, discuss any needs we have, pray. The internship program he started with the blessing of the other Pastors, I'm the first to be going through it. With that being the case it is very flexible in nature: although he has an outline on the internship we can modify it if need be. This internship can also be tranferable to any Bible College program as far as we could tell. I have signed up for a mission trip to Mexico in September. There's a possibility I may be able to go to Kyrgyzstan in August, but I've also left open the possibility of doing a missions trip to Northern Saskatchewan if Kyrgyzstan doesn't work out. I've been asked to be a co-leader of a surviver of abuse course that I took last summer...I said "Yes." Our church started a Missions Planning Group, of which I'm also a member. We meet once a month to plan and discuss the upcoming missions trips different members of our church are going on. We have 2 regular trips that happen every year: Bigstone Reserve in Northern Sask. and the trip to Mexico. We've added 3 other destinations that may or may not happen this year, but they are possibilities. Our church is hosting a conference in June called, "Rising Above." Again I've made myself available in a couple of different capacities for this event. Being out of school isn't such a bad thing...I've found another Bible College that is going to let me take some online courses even though I am suspended from Western Christian. I have to decide whether to take some individual classes or take a program through them...which is an option they are giving me. So this is how my time in exile is looking so far...which isn't so bad...so far...

death and taxes

I'm sitting here thinking about one of the sure things in life...no it's not taxes, it's the other sure thing..death. Not about my own death, but about the death of a couple of others. This morning as I was sitting at a red light on my way to school, I received a text message telling me that an aunt had died last night. It was quite a shock to hear of her death. Although it was sad news there are so many happy memories of her. She kept up a tradition all her adult life that was taught to her by my grand-mother, and I'm sure by my great-grandmother as well. It was a tradition of hospitality...something that's not practiced by a lot of people back home nowadays. A person could always be sure that he/she would be fed well when they went to visit Auntie Ellie. As soon as you walked in the door she would offer you either tea or coffee and sit you at the table and feed you something. Come to think of it all my aunties and a couple of my uncles on my dad's side have carried on this tradition. Sadly on my mom's side there are only 2 aunties and 1 uncle that are like this. My auntie Ellie was always laughing about something and had many funny stories to tell. Some were traditional Native teachings that had a point, others were just funny stories to make you laugh. Funny thing about aunt Ellie...I think if she had a choice on what day to die...it probably would've been on halloween.